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The Power of Positive Language: Reframe Words to Create Energy and Opportunity

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The language we use shapes how we think and act. Every word creates an image and an energy. We actually remember positive words better than negative ones.

Take a sign that says, “Don’t dump trash here.” Your brain first processes the negative, “I can’t dump trash here”, then has to flip to “So…where should it go?” A clearer, more effective version is: “Dump trash here.” One small change; a big shift in energy and action.

Try these positive flips:

Negative: “No, we don’t have that one; we only have this one.”
Positive: “What we do have is this one, and its features are…”

Negative: “I can’t have this ready until Friday.”
Positive: “I can have this ready for you on Friday.”

Negative: “They cannot correct that problem until they redesign the motor.”
Positive: “When they redesign the motor, they’ll correct that issue.”

Negative: “Our managers don’t communicate with one another.”
Positive: “Our managers need to find better ways to communicate with one another.”

Negative: “We can do this, but…”
Positive: “We can do this, and…”

From Problems to Opportunities

Words like problem or even challenge can trigger stress as they are emotive words. They suggest obstacles, failure, or competition. Instead, try thinking in terms of opportunities – which provide chances to learn, improve, and grow.

When you replace the word “problem” with “opportunity,” your focus shifts from potential failure to what you can achieve.

“What would you attempt to do today if you knew you could not fail?”

This simple shift in perspective opens the door to new possibilities and forward momentum.

One Small Habit

Watch your use of “but”. Often, everything before “but” gets erased by what follows. Try swapping “but” for “and” (or simply pause) for a week and notice the shift.

Choose words that move you, and others, forward. Positive language reduces friction, saves time, and builds the energy you need to achieve your goals.

Looking to reframe your words and unlock more energy in your life and work?

Send me an email: babette@babettebensousan.com.au to learn more.

How Well Do You Choose?

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The Power of Choice 

Every day, we face a myriad of choices, both personal and professional. From small decisions like what to have for lunch to significant ones such as whether to quit a job and start a business, we generally try to reflect on our options factually.

There are various methods and tools available to help us with these choices, from flipping a coin to making pros and cons lists to conducting in-depth future projection analysis.

Emotional Choices and the Power of Response

However, let’s talk about the emotional choices we have and the power we possess in choosing our emotional responses. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” The key words here are “your consent”. We choose how we interpret what others say or do, and how we view events. Whether we reject someone’s words or take them to heart depends on our perspective and how we perceive the other person involved.

The Influence of Filters

Our perspective on a situation and the people involved is shaped by filters we’ve developed since birth. These may include:

  • The language we grew up with at home
  • The support we received at school
  • Our social interactions

These filters can either limit or expand our perception, impacting how we view our circumstances. How we continue to experience or react to any situation is truly dependent on our choices.

Changing Our Choices

How can we change our choices or make different ones than we have in the past?

  • Understand the Power of Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions: Recognise how we show up in various aspects of our life.
  • Acknowledge Our Behaviour: Understand that our behaviour is based on previous learnings and experiences and that we are constantly changing beings.
  • Be Open to New Learnings: Look at the choices we make and be open to new understandings and developing a new story for our life

Get Started with the ‘Power of Choice’ Template

To help you get started, download the free ‘Power of Choice’ template. It provides questions and strategies for reflection.

Need Support?

  • Email me today if you’d like support in understanding your filters or to discuss the power of your choices.
  • Learn more about coaching by clicking here to find out what coaching is all about.

Take control of your choices and lead a more empowered life

Positive Energy

Creating Positive Energy With Your Words

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One of the ways we generate energy is in the words we use.  Every word spoken or read creates an image and energy in our minds.

Did you know, we actually remember positive words better than negative words! Here’s an example: Don’t dump trash here! 

Sounds OK.  It communicates!  But in your mind, something amazing happens when you read this – amazing but not good.

Why not good?  Well, when you read an instruction that is worded negatively, you have to switch tracks from “I can’t dump trash here” to “where in the world AM I supposed to dump the trash!”

What is better and more effective to say is: “Dump trash here.”

Eliminating one word turns the negative order into a positive order that can be easily followed and avoids having to switch around in a thought dilemma, which wastes time and creates negative energy!

Here are a couple more to consider:

Negative Positive
No, we don’t have that one, we only have this one What we do have is this one and its features are…
I can’t have this ready until Friday I can have this ready for you on Friday
They cannot correct that problem until they redesign the motor When they redesign the motor, they’re going to correct that problem
Our managers don’t communicate with one another Our managers need to find better ways to communicate with one another
We can do this but it… We can do this and it..

Think about the word “problem”.  This word actually produces stress because we feel we must solve something and it is likely to be complicated and that we’ll be graded on how we solve the problem.

The word “challenge”, although a vast improvement over the word “problem”, still carries hidden emotional baggage.  It comes with feelings that maybe you’ll be “humiliated” if your performance isn’t equal to others or you’ll have to climb over a great obstacle or run a tiring race.

The words “problem” and “challenge” are emotive words, meaning there are feelings and emotions that accompany them.  Most of the time we’re unaware of these emotions as the words are so common.

When you see a challenge you naturally begin to see reasons you can’t achieve it…when you see a problem you see failure looming.  With both, you’re recognising a manifestation of a fear you have.  Once you’re victim to the fear of failure you can’t think in a healthy way.

The answer?  Change your perspective.

What if there was no such thing as problems or challenges?  What if there were only opportunities to test what you believed, no failures to keep you from trying, and only growth from your experiences?

“What would you attempt to do today if you knew you could not fail?” 

There’s huge power in this kind of thinking! (Another good reason for having an objective coach in your life.)

Changing your perspective – just the way you use a word for example – helps you tap into an inner energy to accomplish your dreams.  Changing your perspective helps you identify and overcome internal obstacles and barriers so you can succeed.

So think carefully about the words you use and the positive energy they bring to you and to those around you.  For example, I changed the way I used the word “but”.  I try to avoid it completely where possible.  I did not realise that everything you say before you say “but” is in fact cancelled and the person only hears what comes after the “but”.  Try for a week not to use the word “but” and see what happens.  I would be most interested to hear how you go.

Changing one little word

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Five years ago, I came across a wonderful suggestion from my friend and colleague Leanne Buttrose.  I asked her at that time to write a little note about this which I shared.  Since then, I have been regularly practicing this suggestion.  I thought you would enjoy it as our Monthly Monday Motivation for May.

“How to change your energy and everyone around you by changing one little word!

In the year 2000, I was introduced to a simple and yet incredibly powerful change in my life.  I removed the word “BUT” from my vocabulary. At the time I learned this, I didn’t realise what this change would mean to me and the hundreds of people I have shared this concept with.

The greatest challenge was to not replace it with a “but” in disguise.  We know these words as – however, although, nonetheless – although there are many more!  “But” simply means; everything I said before this word is null and void. For example, the party was great, but the food could have been better.  So was the party great or not?

I found that I became very conscious of my sentences and that “but” was my way to buy time and think.  It was what I used instead of a pause or full stop in a conversation or when presenting.

The most profound discovery was in my written words.  I used “but” in emails, documents and papers, and it gave them a negative overtone when that was not my intention. I used it in sales pitches and PowerPoint presentations when trying to make a point. I was a “but-aholic”!

So how did I change this?  I replaced the word “but” with “and”. While at first, it felt grammatically incorrect, it forced me to stop and think about why I even wanted to say the word.

I found in conversations, I started to pause, think and then continue without using the word.  In written communication, it forced me to rethink the whole sentence because when you remove the use of ‘but’, you often have to phrase the entire sentence very differently.

Here’s an example: ” I’m sorry I didn’t finish the report, but I received your email too late.”

Instead, you might say: “I’m sorry I didn’t finish the report. I received your email too late, and I will do my best to finalise it by the end of this week.”

I have shared this with leaders who now write their messages to their customers and staff coming from the “Yes… and” perspective. They have found it easier to create more positive energy through their communications.”

WOW! To think removing just three little letters from our vocabulary can hold that much incredible power.  And I have been practicing it ever since.  It really does make a difference.

A great way to make sure you’re following “Yes… and” is to exercise self-awareness.  Self-awareness is the secret weapon for lasting habit change. 

If you’d like some support or are interested in gaining more self-awareness, contact me for a complimentary 45 minute coaching discovery session via our contact page.

The Rules of Life

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Well that is the first quarter of 2021 gone – yes already you say!! With time, life and everything else speeding by, we – well I do more often than not – sometimes just need to remember what the Rules of Life really are:

1. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! “Every day above ground is a good day!”

2. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?”

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “you are right.”

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her — believe them.

7. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.

8. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

9. Work is good, but it’s not that important. Money is nice, but you can’t take it with you. Statistics show most people don’t live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn’t really ours; it was given to us by God; She just let us borrow it while we’re here…. even our kids.

10. Be assured that most of your problems will disappear by themselves if you don’t get too attached to them.

11. Worry is a misuse of the imagination.

12. The wonderful thing about the game of life is that winning and losing are illusions. They are terms that humans created to help us play the game of life by the rules we also created.

I need to keep reminding myself of rules 1, 2, 11 and 12. Which ones resonate with you?

Essential questions for success in 2021

10 Essential Questions to Guarantee Success in 2021

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Why do dumb things happen to smart companies? After 25 years of strategy consulting, I would like to suggest some of the following reasons:

  • Companies repeat mistakes
  • Work gets duplicated
  • Customer relations are strained
  • Good ideas don’t get shared
  • Competition is around price
  • Not keeping up with market leaders or innovators
  • Dependence on a few key individuals
  • Slow to innovate
  • Lack of good market knowledge

People don’t choose for good things to go bad, just as executives don’t choose strategies that fail.

Bottom line I think, is that people in organisations aren’t finding the insights they need, and this has real business consequences.

You may have your new year strategy already drafted, and now the focus is just on starting the new year afresh. However, doing this without first reviewing the past year could land you in some murky waters – with issues unresolved, staff dissatisfied, and without clearly understanding what may not have gone so well, and what could be done better next time.

So during February, schedule some time for yourself, or if you prefer as a team exercise, and use these questions to explore 2020, gain the insights necessary, and ensure you achieve higher goals in 2021:

  1. What was the most successful initiative of 2020?
  2. What was the most disappointing (honesty wins out over whitewashing)
  3. Do you feel you maximised opportunities? If not, why not?
  4. What could you change now that would have maximum impact on company performance?
  5. How could you make this change happen and continue in 2021?
  6. What will be your “theme” in 2021?
  7. What would be the ideal working environment you would like to have in 2021, and what steps are needed to make it a reality?
  8. What could you do to provide the tools to help you work smarter and better next year (eg mentoring, training, coaching)?
  9. What initiatives could you implement to help your staff work better and as a stronger team?
  10. What are the three actions you can take now to start the year off on the right foot?

These questions are a catalyst for looking at your business. Taking the time to honestly (and without any blame) review both what worked well, and what didn’t work, will strengthen the bonds within your team and ensure that you all start the year positively and motivated to making it a success for everyone.

 

Coaching in 2021:

If you have considered coaching and would like support in 2021 to achieve your career or personal goals get in touch via our contact form to arrange an initial discovery session.

A discovery session is a 45 minute complimentary session where you can experience the coaching process for 30 minutes and then ask any questions you may have for the remaining 15 minutes.  We will both know by the end of the session if we are a good fit.

Start 2021 on fresh footing – with clarity and purpose.

2019 Business Plan

Are your 2019 business plans based on the right information?

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As it is the beginning of the year we thought we should point out three of the most common (yet most harmful) practices in decision-making in business that you should keep in mind – especially if you are setting plans for 2019 in the weeks ahead. 

1. Casual Benchmarking: People tend to copy the most visible, and obvious business practices of a competitive organisation without understanding the underlying purpose behind it. Very few companies undertake the research and analysis required to have a thorough understanding of the reasoning behind a strategy  – Is it the best strategy to improve your organisation’s performance? What would the possible downsides be? And how could you do it more effectively?

2. Doing what has worked in the past: Be careful to understand exactly why a strategy was previously successful. Is it relevant to the issue at hand, and is this strategy the best one to resolve the current situation? Be aware not to confuse success in spite of an action as opposed to success because of an action.

3. Following deeply held but unproven beliefs: This happens when we believe something will work or that it matches some assumptions that are held about what makes businesses successful. These assumptions or beliefs will resist change and affect judgements and choices, regardless of whether or not they are true. Check whether your decisions are relying on intuition, personal or group beliefs or influencers who may have other agendas in play.

Avoid these pitfalls and you’ll make much better decisions that provide clear direction and competitive advantage for your business.

Get in touch with MindShifts® today to find out how we can help you access the right information for your business.

 

Self Love Coaching

Do You Love Yourself? | MindShifts® | Energy Leadership

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Over the years working on myself and coaching executives, I have learnt a little secret that I wanted to share with you.  It is quite simple – You can only love others as much as you love yourself.  Surprisingly simple yet so profound.  Just think about it.  You can only give to others, what you give to yourself.  Turning that on its head, what you give to yourself is in fact what you draw to yourself.

Wayne Dwyer said it so beautifully :

“Make a pact to remind yourself often of this secret of not being able to give away anything you don’t have. Then work on your personal program of self-love, self-respect, and self-empowerment, and create a huge inventory of what you wish to give away.

One of the lessons I continue to learn and practice is that the universe responds with the same energy that we send out. If you attract a lot of people who wish to take advantage of you, you need to consider what you’re doing to attract victimizers into your life. If you run into anger a lot, explore the angry thoughts you have inside you. If your consciousness is a “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” energy, you’ll attract all manner of demanding energies into your life. You know if this is true by the number of deadlines not being met, demanding bosses or customers you encounter, and the feeling of being a victim. Send out “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” energy to the universe, and it will do the same in return.

If what you give is self-respect and self-love, the universe, via the attractor energy, will return the love and respect you’ve been radiating. It’s really so simple. You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

Energy Leadership Index & Life Coaching

If you are interested to learn how victim thinking or negative thoughts might be impacting your life, your work and your relationships with others, get in touch to discuss our coaching programs and the Energy Leadership Index.

 

Why do Smart companies make dumb business decisions

Why do smart companies make dumb business decisions?

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Why do smart companies make dumb business decisions?  Like you, I have heard many stories of great companies crashing.  But why is that?

After 25 years of strategy consulting, I would like to suggest some of the following reasons:

  • Companies repeat mistakes
  • Work gets duplicated
  • Customer relations are strained
  • Good ideas don’t get shared
  • Competition is around price
  • Not keeping up with market leaders or innovators
  • Dependence on a few key individuals
  • Slow to innovate
  • Lack of good market knowledge

People don’t choose for good things to go bad – just as executives don’t choose strategies that fail.

Bottom line I think, is that people in business aren’t finding the insights they need to improve their decision-making, aren’t sharing it around if they do know something, aren’t keeping it refreshed and up to date, nor even using it.

All of this has real business consequences.

What do you think you could do differently this month to improve the quality of your decisions?

Get in touch to find out how MindShifts® can help you make better business decisions.

Self Care - Put your oxygen mask on first!

Are you looking after yourself?

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I have been coaching now for some time and one of the things I have noticed is that many people don’t take care of themselves first.

This always reminds me of the announcement on planes – put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, how can we be authentic in assisting and advising others?

I love the way so many people give advice freely yet are really saying – do as I say not as I do!! So how good are you at self care?

I came across these great questions in a recent Mind Movies Newsletter that might help you become a little better or more aware of self care that might shift your mindset:

1. What am I not saying, that needs to be said?
2. Do I feel unheard or left out?
3. What fear am I afraid to face?
4. Am I holding onto resentment or guilt?
5. Do I have an abundance mindset?
6. Do my everyday choices bring me long-term fulfilment or simply instant gratification?
7. Do I use situations to grow and evolve or to beat myself up?
8. Have I said something gentle and loving to myself in the last hour or even day?
9. Am I appreciative of all the things in my life?
10. So what does self-care really mean for me?

Self care sometimes means taking a deep, long breath. Sometimes it’s just shutting down your computer. Sometimes it’s a good cry and other times it’s going deeper into your core and facing your fears. For me this week, my self-care practice involved quiet reflection while walking along the beach.

Hopefully asking yourself these 10 questions might result in a healthier and happier you.

BEFORE YOU SPEAK…..THINK
T= Is it True?
H= Is it Helpful?
I= Is it Inspiring?
N= Is it Necessary?
K= Is it Kind?

For more information on MindShifts® Coaching and Mentoring Programs please click here, or get in touch today.