I have been thinking a great deal recently (I have had plenty of time for that with Covid), on how my own biases and limiting beliefs prevent me from understanding where I get in my own way.
There is so much I still want to achieve; there is so much I still want to experience and feel. And yet as every year goes by, somehow, I find myself still chained to my desk (aka emails and specific projects), pushing that rock of biases and beliefs up the hill and not giving myself permission to do something different, learn something new (I would love to learn Ikebana), read a novel, have a siesta or even dare I say it – just daydream.
Does every year of your life seem like a repeat? Mine sure does.
The question for me was how do I change things?
The opinion and thoughts we have of ourselves determines everything about us, and shapes what will happen to us in the future – from what kind of job we will have, to how successful we will be. Our thoughts define who we are and determine how happy we are.
If this premise is true – and the entire field of psychology, counselling and coaching is dedicated to this premise – how do we change our opinion of ourselves? How do we create a better me or a better you?
As a dear colleague recently said, “How do I wake up tomorrow with a new view of me?… How do we change the way we think about ourselves after a lifetime of assaults on our self-concept from parents, peers, professors, and preachers?”
My answer – you can’t change yourself by just thinking it so! Our biases and limiting beliefs will still be there, creeping into all our decisions. Each of us needs someone to reflect back to us what we are really saying about ourselves and therefore thinking.
So, late last year, after much reflection, I got myself a coach. Yes, I know, I am a coach. But that is why I knew I needed one – to help me traverse the line between working 60+ hours a week to a more relaxed approach. It is taking time, and I know it won’t happen overnight. It took decades to develop my limiting beliefs, so they will not change just because I think so.
In 2022, what do you want to change, and how will you make it happen?
What support will you get to make sure a change deep down really happens?